What next ?

For a very long time... I have been confronted by people asking me the question “what next ? “ so after my 12th it was a degree … after that it was a masters degree... and after that a doctorate... and when I began my PhD my answer used to be “ to complete n get through this without loss of life.. mine or anyone else’s … and without the loss of sanity.” While I am sure there has been no loss of life (till date) the question of loss of sanity is still up for grabs!!!
So yesterday I happened to ask myself the same question, “what next?” and while the answer of “getting a job” seemed to pop up, somewhere inside of me this voice seemed to say “ what about marriage ? What about settling down? “
And at the moment, ladies and gentleman I FREAKED OUT!!
Now before you all jump to conclusions … I DON’T think marriage is over rated, I think every person needs someone to spend the rest of their life with and ever since I can remember I have always wanted to be married with kids. 2 kids. I even have tentative names for them.
So now if your wondering why I freaked out, I don’t know.
Sometimes I feel that marriage, at the times of our parents was a whole lot different that now. Not any easier by definitely different from my point of view. For starters you were in it for the long haul. You couldn’t call it quits. Divorce was unheard of unless it was the direst situation. So it was such that people simply tried harder then. Where as now a day’s you squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube differently and that’s it you’re out. It’s doomsday in the making.
I believe that most of this generation have come to a stage where they take it for granted. And their belief is if this doesn’t work out there is always something else. And that I believe is the quicksand!
Love marriages and arranged marriages both have their ups and downs. I know people who have had a love marriage, and their complaint is he/she is not the same as before. For those who have had an arranged marriage he/she just doesn’t get me or try n understand me. And maybe it is true but what one lacks here (which was very much present in older times) is the need to make it work despite all odds. Maybe in earlier times they made it work because the options available to them were not what we have these days but at least they tried.
I haven’t been married… but I know it’s tough. It’s a compromise and it’s an understanding that probably today one must compromise more than the other and the understanding that, that compromise won’t be held against the other person. I believe that marriage is such a relationship where respect is mutual, dependence is mutual, independence is equal and honesty and trust crucial.
I have seen people hurt the ones they claim to love , I have seen people take the ones they love for granted and I have seen people walk away from a relationship because its too hard for them to try and make it work.
I don’t want that …
And maybe that’s why I freaked out!