To write or not to write … that is NOT the question!!!

Now don’t get me wrong... I love to write... Just ask anyone… especially those whom I mail … and let me tell you... These letters aren’t short... Noooooo… they r long...And given a chance they would be longer.

You ask me to write a scrap … I am there...With bells on and a pen in my hand ready to go.

You ask me to write something on your behalf... I am there...all set to let those words have their say.

You ask me to write my PhD ……and I go BLANK!!!!

I am not joking …. For the past 4 weeks I have been coming into the University at about 9 in the morning. Even on weekends mind you! and I am here till about 7 in the evening.( I have even given up MASH !!!). A very busy schedule I hear you say…. Darn right you are!!!!

Let me tell you what this busy schedule is made up of. Endless cups of coffee(oh no green tea now a days!!), a little bit of writing here and there and constantly staring at the computer screen in the desperate hope that my PhD will somehow, by some miracle start to write itself!!!! I am still waiting. In the mean time the page I began this morning is still blank while in between contemplating what to write, I have managed to send out 5 letters, write about 5 scraps on Orkut and even write out a new blog!!

So yeah….. What do I do??

I am sure I will be told soon enough by few that its called LAZINESS. True but what IF it’s not that? What IF it’s the work of some unseen force??? WHAT IF???

So to conclude…. No… I am not lazy … it’s an unseen force that’s preventing me from doing my PhD.

Therefore... after taking all matters into consderation , I have decided to soldier on (very bravely) and go find a way to over power that force.

But before that, let me just go very quickly and refill my cup of green tea and I shall be on my way …….eventually !!!!!! :)

What next ?

For a very long time... I have been confronted by people asking me the question “what next ? “ so after my 12th it was a degree … after that it was a masters degree... and after that a doctorate... and when I began my PhD my answer used to be “ to complete n get through this without loss of life.. mine or anyone else’s … and without the loss of sanity.” While I am sure there has been no loss of life (till date) the question of loss of sanity is still up for grabs!!!
So yesterday I happened to ask myself the same question, “what next?” and while the answer of “getting a job” seemed to pop up, somewhere inside of me this voice seemed to say “ what about marriage ? What about settling down? “
And at the moment, ladies and gentleman I FREAKED OUT!!
Now before you all jump to conclusions … I DON’T think marriage is over rated, I think every person needs someone to spend the rest of their life with and ever since I can remember I have always wanted to be married with kids. 2 kids. I even have tentative names for them.
So now if your wondering why I freaked out, I don’t know.
Sometimes I feel that marriage, at the times of our parents was a whole lot different that now. Not any easier by definitely different from my point of view. For starters you were in it for the long haul. You couldn’t call it quits. Divorce was unheard of unless it was the direst situation. So it was such that people simply tried harder then. Where as now a day’s you squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube differently and that’s it you’re out. It’s doomsday in the making.
I believe that most of this generation have come to a stage where they take it for granted. And their belief is if this doesn’t work out there is always something else. And that I believe is the quicksand!
Love marriages and arranged marriages both have their ups and downs. I know people who have had a love marriage, and their complaint is he/she is not the same as before. For those who have had an arranged marriage he/she just doesn’t get me or try n understand me. And maybe it is true but what one lacks here (which was very much present in older times) is the need to make it work despite all odds. Maybe in earlier times they made it work because the options available to them were not what we have these days but at least they tried.
I haven’t been married… but I know it’s tough. It’s a compromise and it’s an understanding that probably today one must compromise more than the other and the understanding that, that compromise won’t be held against the other person. I believe that marriage is such a relationship where respect is mutual, dependence is mutual, independence is equal and honesty and trust crucial.
I have seen people hurt the ones they claim to love , I have seen people take the ones they love for granted and I have seen people walk away from a relationship because its too hard for them to try and make it work.
I don’t want that …
And maybe that’s why I freaked out!

R.I.P Steve Irwin

I am currently on the high of having opened up this blog site ( is that whats its called !! ) so thought i might as well continue writing !! i guess i might as well write about whats going on here currently .... Steve Irwin ... now who would have seen that coming ? not me for one !! When Nandita called n told me the news I was so so so sure she was joking .. coz even then no TV Channels were showing it as breaking news ... but 30 mins after that it began pouring in ... imagine..steve irwin ...dead.. killled that too by a Stingray !!
heck...ppl like him are not supposed to die .. no i mean it ..they are not .. they r supposed to continue being larger than life images ... and they r supposed to live for ever ...
let me be honest though... in the very beginning ... i really didnt think that highly of him ... i found him to be too loud and boistrous for my liking ... every time i saw him on tele i wud say " surelyyyyyyyy you can talk softly !! " .... then things changed. I happened to go to Australia Zoo .. for the second time mind you. And that was during the school holidays !! So Bindi was doing a show... Bindi and the Crocmen... it was Steve's daughter with 4 boyzone wannabes.. singing n dancing for about 30 mins ... and who should be there but Steve himself ..with Terri .. Bob Bob .. and i think even his manager was there ... he sang and danced through the whole 30 mins from the stands with his daughter... he never sat still ... neither did Terri... and it was at that point the coin dropped for me . the love that i saw in his eyes for his lil one ...the pride i saw in him was something i had never seen before !! at one point he got up with bob bob n danced too .. and the look of pure awe..love.. admiration i saw in bindi's eyes... i knew wasnt one that happened suddenly.... every other stanza she wud look at her dad n mom .. they wud cheer n smile n clap.. and she wud bloom !!!! yes sitting through 30 mins of a 8 yr old girl singing about animal with 4 men who clearly shudnt be there ... was a bit too much to take it ( and i remember even mentionning it to my friends!! ).. but it was was worth it coz i finally got to see what others were talking about...about what it was about Steve Irwin that made him unique...
Shortly after that i read an article of him n his family ... of how he is a morning person n how he does all the cooking ..and the only thing that puts him into a panic mode was changing Bob's diapers !!! ( ahaha he can fight with crocs but cant change a diaper.... it was comforting to know that even Steve Irwin had issues with changing diapers !! ) .. and there was so much that Terri told of him as an individual that made me actually believe in everything he said or did ..and made me see him differently !!!
Now hes gone ... and i have to ask .. where is the justice in all this ..people who kill , hurt , destroy are actually walking this planet and one that does good has been taken away . its not fair is it ? rite now theres this girl.. who has lost her hero... she herself had sais a few years ago , aged 4 or 5 that , " i take after my dad " ... is it fair to her ? or fair to bob who is only 3 .. might not even grasp the concept of death .... but still hes lost a father ....
and you know whats the worst of it all .. individuals like Germaine Greer.... surelyyyyyyy one knows never to speak poorly of the dead .... i am sure there are many out there who might have their own opinions about Steve Irwin.... but surely to stand up and openly criticize such and individual. If he was harming there animals like she claimed he was.. then y was he called a conservationist ???? she said steve irwin was an embaressemennt to the australian people... well i guess i am in good authority to say that ..Germaine Greer is an embaressment to the HUMAN RACE !!!
well at the end of the day .... hes gone ... but atleast he died doing what he loved... right now that will not be of any comfort to his family ... but in time i guess time will heal all wounds... and after all look at his legacy.. look what he has left behind .... a family thats loved by the world .... 2 children who are soon gonna change the way this world views animals and conservation .. and a woman who will support them throughout their life !! he definitely lived a short life..44 is not old !!... but hell he packed a whole lot of love n lives into those 44 yrs !!!
R.I.P Steve.....

My First Ever Blog

I have heard that people have been doing this for ages.... as always i seem to have taken my own sweet time to come about to doing this. But then again ..... i really dont have an interesting life to write about ... how much of excitement can happen between getting up .. going to uni..going to the gym ..coming back.. cooking ..eating and sleeping ??? see what did i tell u !!

Australia i must admit has treated me well ... except for the weather of course !! been here close to 4 yrs.. made some really gud friends ... discovered that i can cook ... tried my hand at dancing .. and my friends can vouch for the fact that though i didnt set the stage abalze with mr talent .. i definitely didnt kill anyones !!! but then again i think awards need to be handed to Nandita n Reena for attempting the impossible n making it possible....
well if i write everything out today itself ... what will i write about tomorrow ???? or maybe much much later ???
Ciao !